One Year On...

...since you went to The Bridge. We miss you so much Kormie, but you most definitely live on in our hearts and our minds.

Love
Castle & The Meowmies

Storm Returns Home

(posted by Meowmie L)

Storm was cremated on June 20th, 12.30pm...almost one week to the hour after I gently cradled Storm in my arms as she peacefully slipped from this world. 

We made our way to the Cambridge Pet Crematorium by train...and on the way we passed through Sawbridgeworth...the village that Storm and Castle were born in and where we collected them from as kittens. We had no idea the train took this route - it was a very poignant moment for us and it triggered a few memories and raised a very teary smile or two.

Jo and I spent some time with Storm beforehand, she looked beautiful, we bathed her in kisses, stroking her, caressing every tiny part of that beautiful little girl that gave us so much love, and that we loved so much.  Her paws were so soft still, her tail so floppy...and when we stroked her head and cheeks it almost felt as if she was gently headbutting us once more...

We took her favourite shoelace toy to her, along with a picture of her and Castle as kittens on one of their first days with us as a family, and another picture of them together which was taken on Storm's last morning with us.  

We then placed a final kiss on her nose 'X' and made our way to the Gardens of Remembrance where we a laid a tiny cat-sized bouquet of flowers at the base of a tree, by a small lake, in Storm's memory...the tiny bouquet was part of a larger, gorgeous bouquet that Ben Vet and his colleagues sent to us in sympathy earlier in the week (pictured below)...it seemed like the right and most fitting thing to do, a gift from us all.  We watched as Stormie, her shoelace and the pictures drifted into the sky in the form of a pure white, clean smoke...

We stayed in the Gardens for almost three hours, sitting on the bench beneath Storm's tree, whilst we waited for Stormie to be returned to us. It was such a beautiful and peaceful place, the Gardens are lovingly cared for, and so are the graves and memorials of all the pets within.





We were then reunited with Stormie..her precious ashes interred in a mango wood pot that Jo and I purchased in Thailand about 6 years ago from Khao Lak beach.  We have another one which is exactly the same, this will be Castle's pot when it is his time to join his sister Stormie.  We travelled back on the train, I cradled Storm and pointed out her birth place, Sawbridgeworth, as we passed through it once again...and then Storm was home again, where she belongs, with her family.

When we were first told that Stormie had lymphoma and that 6-9 months was the average survival time with treatment, our world fell apart, we were sad and we feared what lay ahead of us, how little time we had left. Was Storm going to survive past Christmas? Was it going to be 2, 4 or 6 months or less? Maybe 9 months? Dare we hope for more? From that initial diagnosis in December 2006 every day has been a blessing for us, extra time with our baby girl. When we hit the 9 month mark, the 'top' of the median survival time, we were overjoyed, it seemed such an impossible thing to have hoped for 9 months previously. However, even though Storm seemed normal and well and healthy, we always knew that inside her something wasn't quite right and that one day it would allow the lymphoma to return - for that reason every day really did become a special and cherished day, lived with love, not fear or sadness. When you know you are on borrowed time you make that much more of an effort to enjoy the things that light up your life.

Storm eventually made it to 18 months past diagnosis, beating the lymphoma twice...but sadly her little body just couldn't cope with the second battle, she had become tired. I hope that anyone who stumbles across this blog whilst searching for info on feline lymphoma will draw hope from it...although Storm is no longer here, she fought her fight and won it, she did not suffer and she had a normal quality of life...for twice as long as the best prediction. So, if you too are feeling sad and afraid please think of Stormie and remember how successful her battle with lymphoma was...it's not the end of the world, it's a new beginning...

Thank you to all of you wonderful cats and people on the cat blogosphere for making our blogging so much fun over the past year..and for being such a great source of comfort to us during this very difficult time. We thank our friends on Meezer.com, in particular Jeanie, who has been such a great support throughout and has known Storm online for about 10 years now. We also thank our families too for their love and concern.

Lovely Ben Vet, Caroline Vet, Nurse Ann, Nurse Jo, Nurse Jenna and everyone else at the vet practice - we thank you for giving us this time with Stormie; your care, dedication and love for our little girl was evident (and still is) and we will always be thankful for everything that you have done.

Stormie, we miss you so much, I can't put it into words because no combination of words can do justice to how much we miss you and love you. You are our special girl, always will be and will remain forever in our hearts.

You won in every sense of the word... now sleep tight little lady...love you always and forever, Linda, Jo and Castle xxx

Stormie, February 1st 1996 - June 13th 2008


I was chosen to day
I'm learning to fly
the world took me away,
but please don't you cry.

And I chose you today
to try and be strong
so please don't you cry
and don't say that I'm gone.

When you're feeling alone
just remember our love,
I'm up near the stars
looking down from above.

Remember our love
in a moment you'll see
that I'm still here beide you
When you're thinking of me.

Storm's Last Hours and a Beautiful Tribute from Ben Vet

(posted by Castle, Storm's loving and devoted brother, photos were taken on the day by my Meowmies).

June 13th 2008...we will never forget that date, it was the date on which we had to say goodbye to our adored, brave, strong and courageous Stormie.  It was the right day to say goodbye; the day before she had managed to eat a little, and still moved around...but she did not eat on the morning of June 13th and she seemed a little bit more tired too, not really wanting to leave our cushion.

Storm relaxing on her cushion

After spending the night with Meowmie L on her bed, Storm and I spent the WHOLE morning on our brown fleecy cushion, with the little square of fleece that we have had since we were kittens,  just snuggling into each other, and the Meowmies by our side, watching David Attenborough wildlife documentaries. Meowmie L must have kissed Storm's little 'X' on her nose about a hundred times...it was, after all, her special kissing place, and the first thing that Meowmie L noticed on Storm when she was a kitten...'X' marked the spot - or should that be 'X' marked The Most Beautiful Siamese Kitten In The World?  I think so.  We shared a last few rays of sunlight together, before the sun moved around and no longer shone through the window on us as we cuddled...

Enjoying our last cuddles

Ben Vet showed up at 1.30pm as promised and gently approached Stormie...who, despite barely moving all morning, recognised Ben and welcomed him to our home by gently raising herself up off her cushion slightly and greeting Ben with a headbump...we spent a few minutes all adoring Stormie, talking to her, loving her...

Ben Vet gave Stormie an injection which relaxed her and as she drifted off to a place where she could start her final journey from, my Meowmies held her, stroked her, kissed her and whispered so many words of love to her...Meowmie J then took me from the room and we both stayed in the bedroom together for a few minutes.  Meowmie L stayed with Storm, holding her, looking into her eyes, and reassuring her that everything was now going to be OK...and as Ben Vet sent Storm on her way Meowmie L cradled her, supporting her head gently and thanked her for being so wonderful and for sharing so many beautiful years with us...placing one final kiss on Storm's 'X' just as she departed.

Ben Vet then said a very emotional goodbye and for the next two hours we spent a very quiet and peaceful time together.  Meowmie L cleaned Storm's little eyes and the small blood spot from her leg where she had the catheter - Storm was very particular about her appearance and Meowmie L wanted to make sure she looked as she would have wished .  Storm looked so peaceful, just like she was sleeping, she seemed relaxed and free finally...she looked quite beautiful.  I washed her ears and her bottom and her back legs for her too, for I knew she could no longer do that herself.

Saying goodbye after Ben helped Stormie to the Bridge...

Nurse Ann showed up on time and was very gentle with Stormie, she too saying her goodbyes through a stream of tears...the Meowmies kissed and cuddled Stormie one last time, and then Nurse Ann carefully wrapped Stormie in her towel and left us...Meowmie L saw Stormie off at the door whilst Meowmie J held me tightly and reassured me that I would be OK.  

Ben Vet made everything so perfect and dignified for us and helped us through one of the most difficult days of our lives.  Along with the love that surrounded Storm, Ben's knowledge and care (and that of his colleagues) also helped Stormie live up to the name The Furry Fighter...and helped her win her fight against this illness...she did not lose the fight, it was just time to go, her body was tired.

Here is Ben Vet's tribute to Storm, which he left in the comments for our post dated June 11th 2008..the day we found out we were to lose a very dear and special family member very soon...it really sums up what a special girl Stormie was, and how she should be remembered...she is missed greatly and the tears are still flowing...there is a massive Storm-shaped hole in our lives right now but we know that over time it will get filled up and eventually overflow with beautiful memories of our gorgeous little Stormie.  

From Ben Vet....

On Friday I had to perform one of my most important and yet most difficult tasks as a vet – to send Storm on her way, to prevent such a special cat from suffering.

I have so many great memories of Storm, from the very beginning of her illness when she went home just in time for Christmas (2006).

She was always such a pleasure to treat – she behaved for every blood sample, iv catheter, tablet, ultrasound and xray. She never hissed, scratched or bit, but was so tolerant – understanding even – of everything that we did for her.

The most surprising of all was that, when she was receiving intravenous chemo, she would stay completely still as long as she could hide her head under her blanket. This became a bit of a ritual: We’d get everything ready for the treatment – drugs, catheters, gloves, masks and… Storm’s blanket.

Storm’s meowmies’ dedication was unparalleled and the only factor in any decision was always Storm’s well-being.

Storm was loved by not only her meowmies, but also by every member of our vet Practice (and countless others too, I’m sure). We’ve been very sad since Storm’s passing – not for Storm, because I’m convinced it was the right time for her to leave us – but for her meowmies’ loss and our loss. There has not been a dry eye in the Practice over the last few days and my friends and family who’ve heard so much about her were very sad too.

So, on Friday, we said goodbye to an old friend, a beacon of feline fortitude and a cat that has touched so many lives. We gave her the gift of freedom from suffering and of dignity. And that is how she left us - very calmly, understanding even, that we were doing the very best we could for our dear, beloved Storm.

I will always remember her,
Ben

Storm's last portrait just before she went to The Bridge

I Won

I won because I exceeded all expectations and lived for 18 months instead of the predicted 6-9 months at diagnosis.



I won because I fought the second bout of cancer and made the 3 tumours go away...I just got a little weak and my body has no more to give.



I won because I have been surrounded by love and have had the best family I could wish for.



I did not lose this fight...it is just time for me to go now.

Ben Vet is coming around to see me in my home on Friday at about 1pm, he is going to help me to the Bridge. I am just too weak to carry on - I'm not in pain, just debilitated - I am not going to get better either. My Meowmies love me so much and they are doing the best thing for me...as they have always done.

And please don't think that Friday the 13th is unlucky...it is not because I am lucky in that I am able to spend today and tomorrow with my Meowmies and Castle, doing the things I love to do. I will also be released from this illness and will be going to a beautiful place. 13 is also my Meowmie L's lucky number and birthdate so please celebrate this Friday the 13th as a lucky day...for me.

Meowmie has been playing wildlife DVDs for me today, I love to watch them and listen to the noises so much. Today was David Attenborough films, tomorrow we have March Of The Penguins and 100 Greatest Wildlife Moments, also with David Attenborough (he's the best!).

Thank you all for being my friends over the past year...I hope you will take care of my beautiful Castle for me, he has been the BEST brother ever...I won't be able to visit all the blogs to say a personal goodbye, so I will say one here to you all...and from the bottom of my heart I truly wish you all a happy and healthy life...until we meet again....

Love and purrs and headbutts...always,
Stormie
xxxx

Sleeping Arrangements

How many beds do you have? We have a few...

We have our fleecy Flecta-Pad in the lounge, it sits in front of the radiator and is big enough for both Fat Pants Castle and I to stretch out on (it is actually a Flecta-Pad for dogs).



Then we have another bed in the hallway which is our Harry Bertoia designer chair that has the pad on it that Kaze, Latte and Chase sent to us last year for winning the Halloween competition. Our entry into the competition was Bride of Meezerstein:



We also have a big soft brown fleecy cushion which we bought over from Meowmie J's house when we moved in here. This cushion resides on the orange sofa, which you will recognise in many photos on this blog. We also have a square piece of white fleece material which we have had since we were kittens, my Meowmie said she will never throw it away. In the following picture you can see the brown cushion and the fleece square.



We also perch ourselves on the brown sofa, nestled up to the cushions, especially if Meowmie J comes around. This is me and Castle with our old housemate Dubbs on the brown sofa, he is at the Bridge now, I hope he is waiting for me when I get there.



Since I have been ill again, my Meowmie now moves our Flecta-Pad on to her bed every night at bedtime so that we can all spend as much time as possible together, and sleep near each other too. She likes to nod off with my paw in her hand. We LOVE this new bed - we don't even bother moving to any of our other beds around the house when the Flecta-Pad is on Meowmie's bed. Notice how Castle leans all over me yet again? May be he knows my temperature is a little low...



I have my Vet Visit tomorrow morning...my appetite has all but disappeared again. I didn't even want Tuna Flakes In Gravy this morning. And I was sick once in the night again. Apart from that, I seem OK...purry and happy to be with my Meowmies and Castle, accepting the love surrounding me and dishing out the occasional headbump or two.

Love Stormie
xxx

Meezer Monday Award

I'se got an Award! I am very honoured to receive this Brilliante Weblog Award from the wonderful blogosphere star, ML from Missy and KC! Thank you so much my dear friends...



I would like to pass this on to the gang at Simply Siamese, beautiful Princess, the handsome Ramses, the gorgeous Cheysuli and my adorable recent date Yao-Lin.

I have remained fairly stable, although I have slowed down a little since yesterday, and have not eaten as much as I have been recently, which as you know wasn't really enough anyway. I did a sick up yesterday too, first one in ages. Let's just hope I am having an off-day, I suppose it is to be expected...I have a Vet Visit on Wednesday morning for a check-up and to ascertain whether I can continue with the chemo...although, to be honest, I don't think I have put any weight on...

Meowmie has been in need of a good laugh recently and she saw a comedy show on the TeeVee the other night which made her giggle and shoulder-shake a fair bit. It is a British show called Headcases, the humour is very British and satorical and we hope you enjoy it...

At Home With Brad & Ange - Part One


At Home With Brad & Ange - Part Two
(with special guest Madonna)

Thank you all for your continued purrs...we can hear them!
Love Stormie xxx

Thankful Thursday

I had a check-up at the Vet Place today. When I arrived Nurse Ann came to see me, we are quite bonded and I stretched out of my PTU in the reception area and I allowed her to pick me up and give me a cuddle - a rare treat for Nurse Ann, or anyone else in fact cos I am not keen on heights or cuddles - I prefer strokes and ground level.

I saw Caroline Vet today. She was very lovely and handled me with care and affection. So why Thankful Thursday if I have been to the Vet Place? Well, I am thankful that I weigh the same as I did almost a week ago - this means that the amount I am eating is keeping me on an even keel. Most importantly I haven't lost weight - this means there is a chance that the cancer hasn't come back to get me, cos if it had I would have shown a weight loss for sure. Even cats that eats LOADS and who have cancer attacking them, still lose weight despite their food intake.

I am also thankful because, despite not being able to have chemo for the past two weeks Caroline Vet could not feel any tumours in my tummy. My temperature was a little low but this may be because I *clenched* quite hard when Caroline Vet put the stick in my bum, and she didn't want to force it in there, so my temperature only read 37.8, it should be 38.5

We are still not sure what has caused my poor state lately but it may possibly be a combination of a few things - not getting along with the appetite stimulant Mirtazapine; lack of food intake; damage to my tummy from the chemo and tumours; and the chemo possibly making me feel ill - although this is difficult to determine for sure as I was also taking the Mirtazapine just after I had the chemo. All we know is since we stopped the Mirtazapine I have perked up a little. I got on with the chemo drugs last year, no problem, but maybe a second time is just too proving too much for me to manage...

So what now? Well, we are in a kind if no-win situation. Caroline Vet said that if I don't have chemo very soon, the cancer will definitely come back, but then there is the question of whether the chemo will make me feel ill and put me off my food again? I really can't afford not to eat. But if I don't have chemo then...well...the situation only becomes a 'win' if I have the chemo and it doesn't make me feel bad, but we obviously have to try the chemo to discover this.

So, the plan is, I try to eat as much as I can for the next few days, increase my strength, stay alive...if I succeed in this, I head back to see Ben Vet next Wednesday for a check-up to see if I have gained enough weight/strength to resume chemo, should we decide to go down that route...

I am thankful for all your continued purrs and prayers...oh and I am also thankul for my Meowmies and my brother Castle, here he is squashing up to me on the sofa

Love Stormie
xxx